Joining The Ranks: What Single Moms Need To Know Before Enlisting

Let’s cut to the chase, being a single mother doesn’t disqualify you from joining the military, but it does require some serious decisions, especially when it comes to custody.

You’re Not Signing Away Your Rights but You Are Signing Over Custody

Contrary to the rumor mill, single moms don’t permanently lose parental rights when they enlist. But here's the real talk: the military needs service members to be fully deployable. That means no dependent care obligations that could interfere with training, deployment, or duty.

So, before you ship out, you'll need to:

Legally transfer full physical custody of your child to someone else (the other parent, a grandparent, etc.)

Provide a court-approved custody arrangement

Understand that you can’t do this just to enlist—the military can sniff out a workaround and may reject your application

Branches Have Different Waiting Periods

Each service branch has its own rules:

Keep in mind: this isn’t just red tape. It’s about readiness. You’re signing up to serve wherever, whenever and that’s a mission-first mindset.

Already Serving & Parenting?

If you're already in the military and become a single parent, you’ll need a Family Care Plan—a legally binding document outlining who’ll care for your child if you're deployed. Not keeping that plan up to date can put your career at risk.

Real Talk

This isn’t an easy decision. Transferring custody is a huge emotional and legal step. If you’re thinking about enlisting, talk to a recruiter, a family law attorney, and trusted loved ones. There are paths forward some single mothers pursue such as part-time service in the National Guard or Reserves, which may offer more flexibility and fewer custody hurdles.